The secret to getting the body of your dreams stems from your mentality. The battle is won from within so of course, in order to lose weight, you have to train your mind just as hard as your body. “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” What Oscar Wilde meant by this quote is that we all have the choice to turn negative to positive.
Nobody is happy with themselves or their situation when they start a fitness journey. I was definitely not happy with myself being over 210 lbs. I did what everyone else did, I would through pity parties for myself, in my bed, with my best friend: chocolate. During those moments in my life, I didn’t have the mentality for success. Here’s how my clients & I build a positive mindset for weight loss.
The Mindset for Successful Weight Loss
In order to change you have to start from the inside out. To change your physical appearance, your mental appearance must change. As a personal trainer, I believe there are 4 essential qualities of a great mindset. These are how you can turn your negative thoughts into positive ones.
Firstly, accept where you’re at isn’t where you will be. If you want to change you will have to change your image of yourself as someone stuck in the body that you currently have.
Whenever you look at yourself in the mirror no longer tell yourself: “This is who I am and who I will always be.” It’s the biggest lie we can tell ourselves.
Instead, you need to disassociate your weight and your identity. Because if you don’t then you can never become anything more.
“The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can’t are both right.”-Henry Ford
Once you accept this version of yourself is not your reality you can start moving towards your goals. Yes, you let things get to this point, but we all make mistakes. The only person who made me obese was me. My actions, my negative thoughts, and my bad habits put me there. So, I accepted that and decided to change for myself. You can do the same, and it’s never too late to start.
Once you’ve accepted the circumstances you now need to look for determination to reach your goal.
Remember, the road to success is never a straight shot. You need to be expecting obstacles because it shouldn’t be easy. If it is it’s going to leave just as fast. Easy come easy go.
By predicting your obstacles you can start planning how you will deal with them. So when the time comes you don’t just blow over in the wind.
Instead, you’ll be able to weather the storm and work through issues as they come. That’s the trick, whenever you experience these obstacles you have to be determined otherwise, you’ll give up.
What you should do is adopt the mentality: “No matter what happens to me, that even if I fall, I will get back up and try again.” It’s just like succeeding at anything else, you keep plugging away until it sticks.
Ditch the all-or-nothing mentality. In order to make weight loss last long-term you have to make small, incremental changes.
What is the all-or-nothing mentality?
The all-or-nothing mentality is what happens when things get off track and we just let everything go because “we’ve failed.”
For instance, you are trying to lose weight, but you cave and have a cheeseburger. What does everybody usually do in this case? We catastrophize it and decide since we had one cheat meal it doesn’t matter if we eat more.
Now in reality, what would hurt your goal more? Eating one meal from fast food, or a whole day of eating junk?
This is the all-or-nothing mentality and it is the #1 robber of weight loss.
So what should you do instead?
Go back to the acceptance mentality. When you screw up, own it, and move on. It’s that simple, but it’s so hard to do.
You see we can either beat ourselves up over one little mistake or accept that this is an obstacle to be overcome. Once you get rid of the all-or-nothing mentality you can start looking at your mistakes as opportunities to get better.
Now the next time you screw up you can accept it and ask yourself: “How could I make this a little better?” You could come up with ideas like every time you eat fast food you:
- Order a water instead of soda
- Eat your cheeseburger without the buns
- Order apple slices over fries
These are examples of the 1% better habit. If you aim to be just 1% better every day you can have the body you want. Just like how a book is written word by word, or a house brick by brick, you get better action by action. Over time you will have changed not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well.
Remembering why you’re doing all of this will help you through your lowest lows.
Discover Your True Why
If you aren’t certain exactly why you want to lose weight ask yourself why 3x. The first answer will be your most superficial and the final will be your deepest motivation.
Why You Need A Why
It’s easy to forget why we’re putting ourselves through this. We find ourselves dreading going to the gym or eating a burger when we know we shouldn’t. In these situations, we get so caught up in the emotions we forget our why.
Our reason why is like a battery in times like this. They help us recharge and give us the energy to put in the work when we don’t want to. It turns our negative thoughts into positive energy as to why we must do it.
For example, if you’re losing weight because you want to enjoy life in your body that’s powerful. We all know how empowering it would be to feel confident with our physique. Then, the next time you’re in the parking lot debating whether to work out or to just go home you can remember that you want to work out so you can enjoy your life.
By imagining what your future will feel like you can pull that emotion to the present and push past your limits.
You can be your own worst enemy or your biggest supporter. If you can use these methods to change the way you think you’ll find yourself more positive. By cultivating a positive mindset you are going to be able to look past where you are now and know the future holds much more for you.
These qualities are what Oscar Wilde was talking about. We as people are all in the gutter, meaning we all struggle, but those who can look for a brighter future can make one.
That doesn’t mean we quit struggling, quite the contrary, it means that whenever we struggle we push forward. When obstacles appear in your life you’ll be able to rise above the occasion.
For example, I was obese, and I could have used that as a reason to stay there. Instead, I hoped that there could be a better future out there waiting for me. I couldn’t settle and accept that this was going to be my life forever. Being able to believe there was something better out there pushed me to continue pushing on. Remember, if you can believe it then you can achieve it. Be brave, go out there try, fail, and grow you guys can do it!
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